I Did The Most Selfish Thing…

I did the most selfish thing…..

I believe as a mom, no matter what hardships you have encountered or are going through now, you have the power to become the CEO of your own life. I also believe, as the CEO of your own life, you can create happiness and fulfillment in your health, family, & career.

I certainly wasn’t in that frame of mind 9 years ago, today. December 10, 2011, I was having major chest pains. I was having difficulty breathing and short of breath. My heart was racing and I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

My arms were numb and I was hyperventilating. I am pretty sure I hadn’t slept more than a couple hours in 3 days.

I was crying uncontrollably, which started daily 5 weeks prior.

I was so nauseous I couldn’t eat anything. I was just 5 weeks postpartum, but I was already LESS than my pre-pregnancy weight.

9 years ago today is when I did the most selfish thing ever…..I was checked into a psychiatric unit for 7 days. 

I left my husband and 5 week old newborn on their own, for 7 days.
For 3 days prior, I was in a state of extreme shambles. Finally I had to be taken to the ER.

I started crying when I went into labor with Lennox, 9 years ago, and I never stopped.

Sleep deprivation, along with hormones, and severe postpartum depression. I was an absolute mess and I thought I might die.

My daughter Lennox, who I worried about 24/7, tried to nurse but my body never produced milk.

I remember chanting to myself “If I can get through this I can get through anything.” I also kept questioning….. why didn’t anyone tell me I could feel this way? Why didn’t anyone tell me that I might not be able to nurse my child?

I vowed that if I made it through I had to be a voice for women who suffer in silence.

I felt like such a failure, had so much guilt, and I longed for my mother, who passed away in 2006, to see my newborn.

I realized I was going to embark on a journey using the inner belief and mindset that had helped me win a national fitness championship and start a business, in ways those tools had never been used or tested before.

My family always viewed me as being so strong. I was always the rock that kept everyone in order and together, especially after my Mom died in 2006.

But, I was also brought up not to talk about things like this….

Today, 9 years ago, instead of heading to a wedding, my husband took me to the ER where I spent 1 week in a psychiatric unit. (Today, that psychiatric unit, along with many others in our area… no longer exist —- that’s a whole other mental health topic.)

Does that make me crazy or lesser of a person?  Would I ever amount to anything after spending time in a mental hospital?

Today, I am thankful and I realize I was put in that situation for a reason.
In fact, I went on to achieve even more successes in my health, career, and family life.

My postpartum journey made me realize I had a deeper calling to help women in a great capacity, moms who might be struggling, or feeling alone, or who want to regain control of their life.♥️

Now I can tell you I’ve hit rock bottom and let you know that it is okay to be extremely selfish.

It is okay to go to the doctor and ask for help.
It is okay to take prescription medication if you need it.
It’s okay to see a counselor.
It’s okay to hire a coach.

And it will be okay and you will achieve even more AFTER suffering such defeat. ♥️

I am thankful for that struggle because it’s helped me dedicate to being my best, and helping others be their best.
I believe you must learn to embrace your pain and adversity to become your personal power.

It has been a long 9 years full of ups & downs. It didn’t magically get better after that hospital stay. I can truly see how many people fall into mental health issues and never come out. I have an entirely new perspective on the subject.

Yes, I even experienced severe anxiety and depression 6 years ago, after my second child. But I was better equipped of what to do.

Even though it didn’t feel like it at the time, and it hurt worse at first, I kept working at feeling better.

You have to decide to strengthen your mind, to do the work and stay the course.

9 years ago today, while it was one of the most difficult days in my life, and trust me I have had many close to this magnitude, I am thankful for this ongoing battle.

This battle has strengthened my purpose and passion to help others. And I am proud to say that I am quite successful in doing so. It is my mission to help more women move forward in life with more clarity, purpose, and fulfillment, to achieve greater health & happiness, in any season of life.

No matter what you are experiencing, it can get better, if you want it to.

You do have to enlist help – the right help – and know that light is on the other side even on your darkest days.

I can share that with you now, because I am a completely different person today. It all started with the most selfish thing I have ever done and I am a better wife, mother, sister, daughter, and coach because of it.

I am worth it. I have much to offer. I am successful. I am enough.

I am happy:)

A feeling I thought I could never feel.

Can you relate?

YOU DESERVE TO FEEL YOUR BEST , TOO.

In case you are seeking permission, only you can give yourself that permission. ♥️
Give yourself permission to break free of your past and move forward into your greater purpose.

It’s not selfish, it’s self respect.

XoXo
Summer
Wife, Mom of 2, Business Owner, Coach to Champions => In Life

PS – If you are struggling, please do reach out to a trusted friend or schedule an appointment with a doctor, counselor, or coach. I am happy to point you in the right direction and offer support where I can, I am here.

You can learn more about Summer’s North Canton Personal Training & Bootcamp location, Summer’s Fitness at www.summersfitness.com, or Call/Text 330-497-2474.

Click to Learn More about a 1 on 1 Private Training INTRO Offer.


About Summer: Summer Montabone has a passion for helping people live happier and healthier lives. Her passion has evolved over the years (established) as a personal trainer (1997), health & PE teacher (1998), NSCA-CSCS (2003), NPC/IFBB Fitness Champion and Pro (2004), and gym owner (2007). Summer has faced numerous amounts of adversity from years of trauma, including, a battle with postpartum depression beginning in 2011.  Summer has received several accolades since 2011 and has made it her mission to help others embrace their personal adversity into their personal and professional power. 


Leave a Reply